The Obdurate Avidity

Chapter 19

 

         By TurtleBoy

 


            I awoke in a cold sweat, my room was tainted red.  Everything was spinning, feeling my body ache and throb; fear overtook me.  Gripping my mattress as tight as I could, feeling my fingers digging in past the springs.  As my heart began to race, I knew this wasn’t going to go away.  The blood rushed through me, as my bones began to grind and seemingly crumble within me.  With horrifying speed, I flipped off my bed and crouched on the floor.  The surging pain caused a smile to my face.


            The hurt became pleasure, the fear became impatience.  As my spine cracked and snapped; realigning itself, my ribs contracted and expanded.  My skin burning as the thick hairs shot out of me.  My hands reforming to pointed obscurities which could only be described as claws.  Feeling the floor boards creaking below me I raced to the door and leaped from the veranda.  Landing hard in the grass of my back yard lashing at the ground and turning up the turf beneath me I raced off into the trees.  My mind was clear, but free.  I had no limitations, as if the world was mine for the taking.  This was the feeling I knew I had to control.  Dashing past trees and bushes I picked up on a scent.  This wasn’t something good, nor tempting in anyway.  It was filth at its worst.  The mere thought that something that smelt so bad could even exist would make you feel sick to your stomach.  Oddly enough I felt drawn towards it.


            My nostrils flared and snorted as I pounded my feet hard into the ground, pushing and leaping with every stride.  I felt myself drawing near the repulsing smell and slowed to a stealthy crawl.  Peering off through the trees I saw smoke coming from a small opening.  There were blood curdling howls escaping a blackened fire.  Surrounding the noise was a deformity of a man.  He was there but not at the same time.  Just like seeing the heat rising from pavement on a hot summer day.  He appeared to be saying something, but did not seem to be in English.  As his body flickered with the wind he raised his hands towards the open flames, retracting a scorched creature from its wrath.  My first assumption was that the man was helping the beast like creature, however I was soon revealed to cold hard truth.  This was no rescue but a cruel slaughter.  A reddened blade raised in the mans hand from the his side straight up into the air; without so much as a thought sliced hard through the neck of this begging creature.  Hearing the thud of its head smash and roll on the ground, I decided this was not a place I wanted to be.  Before I could turn and leave, the man whipped his entire body facing me.  The glare coming from his eyes were mesmerizing.  I was stuck dead in my tracks.  Slowly he made his way towards me.  A fire like trench coat flapped heavily in behind him, holding that same blade in his hand and scraping it along the ground; I knew I was going to die.


“WHAT! Are you Doing here!”  He screamed, his voice harsh and ragged.


“You are Not! To be Here!” His breath poured heat against my face.


“It IS forbidden.”  The intensity of the situation increased dramatically as he raised the blade in the air.


            I could not think only react.  Fear left me faster than I can second guess what was happening.  I rushed at the man and forced him to the ground.  Flames raced up my body covering me almost immediately.  All I felt was hatred, I was no longer defending myself; I wanted the blood of this thing to poor down my throat.  I snapped my head backwards than crushed it down on the mans face with my jaws widened.  Feeling my throat catch fire I still managed to continue to the neck and rip out his throat.  There was no blood only blackness.  It ran thicker than blood, but he was still in pain, and that was all that mattered.  My claws dag deep into him, an evil took over me.  Literally ripping this thing to shreds I did not stop until the heat was no more.


            Falling to the ground I neared loosing consciousness.  Struggling to stay awake, I attempted to climb to my feet.  Looking down at myself; the handle of the blade was sticking out from my chest which was bloody and crusted with burns.  There was no longer any hair on my body, only blood.  I could feel the world spinning beneath me.  I had to feed.  But how!  I could barely walk.  Propping myself against a dead tree, I reached to pull the blade from my body.


“RAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!”  The sting wasn’t as bad as the chunk of flesh that fell from my chest.  I felt sick and feared movement.


            I had given up hope, there was no chance I could move.  With my eyes closed I felt myself fade off into a blackness.  My heart slowed, the pain only got worse by the second.  The world around me began to spin more and more, just when I thought I was going to pass out for eternity, *THUD*  something landed directly on top of me.  I would have screamed from the pain, but no longer possessed that ability.  Forcing my eyes open, a harsh blue glow surrounded me.  It consumed everything.  It was like seeing the sky pummeled in lightning.  But before it registered properly it had gone.  Looking overtop of me, there was some kind of brown… branch maybe…  Lifting my head, my eyes grew larger.  The object was a dear!  How the?!!?  Confusion and excitement over took me.  My hunger won over the pain, I shot to my feet and lashed at the carcass.  Devouring the pour animal in a matter of minutes, my body began to quiver.  My heart sped, and my muscles began to shake and throb.  I felt that same power as when I first changed over take me.  But this wasn’t enough!  I had to have more!  I could feel it!


            No thoughts cluttered my mind; I could bare no more weight within me.  There was nothing else, only one thing mattered.  With what strength I had I put my senses to work, thrashing through the trees faster than I thought possible.  The world around me became sharp, the trees no longer existed.  With my ears filled with a humming and a partial thumping.  My vision began to change; flowing from the ground were vibrations similar to ripples in the water, in the distance I could see glimmers of tainted blue.  During approaching these glows became shaped into wire like creatures, sending electric like pulses throughout them.  This was familiar.


            Slowing my approach I crept past a clutter of trees.  There it was, a wide form of clustered veins.  I could not make out what it was directly, but knew it would have no chance.  Shifting through a bush the figure came to life and jolted to its feet.  Before anything else could happen I was on top of it ripping off its head in a quick clean chomp.  My claws dug deep into the animal tearing the fur from its body.  Sinking my teeth deep inside and feeling the wondrous elixirs engulf my mouth and flood down my throat.  Tearing the muscles from its bones, while wasting no time chewing.  I could feel my body restoring with every gruesome bite, my strength increase following every luscious mouth full.


            I soon reached my fill, and in doing so my vision restored to that tainted red.  Looking down at my victim, followed by a couple dry heaves of disgust; the remnants of a mangled bear lay scattered in brutally torn pieces.  Sadly my remorse was not as I had expected.  My body had repaired itself to its so called perfect form, and I hadn’t munched on another person.  If anything I was relieved.  But I’m sure I’ll feel a little gross in the morning.  Nothing like washing down a dear with a bear…  GROSS!  Again a slight disappointment as the thought made my insides giggle.  HAHA  here I am in the woods middle of the night eating wild animals completely beasted out to the max… and I’m giggling.  Hehe, I love it.


            Fearing the break of day coming fast upon me, I rushed back towards my house before I had to run down the street naked again.  Geeze, how was I gonna explain all this to my parents… ‘Ma I need a new mattress.. cause I tore it to shreds with my claws’ OR! ‘Dad, can you pick me up some new jeans?  I ripped them to shreds when I randomly mutated to a ginormous monster. And by the way have you ever tasted bear?’  HAHA  God I need some help.


            Feeling the break of day beating upon my back as I neared my back yard I braced myself for the pain that had consumed me the night before.  Smoke began to cross over my body, a sizzling sound similar to frying eggs sounded in my ears.  A stinging began to escape through my pores.  Standing myself up right I slowly braced myself against a tree.  Looking down at my fore arms; they were colored a blackish grey and seemed to be ripping to shreds.  The sunlight bathed over my face, as I felt the day stripping me of the beast.  My bones shifted back to their original place, and the shards of the beast fell off of me and dissolved into a smoky dust being carried away with the wind, I felt the ability to move become restored to me.  The pain was no where near as great this time.  It was just like pouring salt on an open wound.  I know that sounds horrible, but that was nothing compared to what I was expecting.  Swiping my body in all directions to scatter the remaining dust from my body, I carefully made it back to my room before detection.  Instantly meeting my pillow, I fell off into a hard abstract sleep.


             My dreams were cluttered with remnants of the nights that had followed.  The pain of the mutation along with the harsh reality of what I had become.  The monster seeking escape was consuming me, and I could feel it happening.  My identity was no longer my own; tainted with an evil I wasn’t sure I could control.  That’s what this was, the very instincts that came with this new power.  Based upon an evil only driven by just that; I found myself intimidated by my self.  Was it possible that I could learn to control this new side of me?  The hunger that came with the power was overwhelming.  I had to understand this better.  That was my only hope.


            Blue and red wire like strings weaved and fluttered past my sight; over taking me, deeper into this vision of slumber.  The jagged curves came together forming a human like entity, obscured in the deception of my dream.  It had no eyes, nor defining features.  It was unlike anything that could possibly exist in the real world.  Or at least the world I once knew.  It reached for me with its repulsive arms.  It dripped with what looked like blood, my will to escape was not present.  I only let this thing take hold.  Feeling its touch smother me in a womb of fire, my world as I once knew it was now over.  I was now the beast, any remnants of what I once was had now been ordained as the disguise.  The entity guided me as one with itself towards my beloved James who had somehow been watching from who knows where.  His form was different, covered in a blue glow which felt nearly blinding.  It was like he was my opposite, yet I was guided towards him.  With my heart beating an eerie slowed pace, my eyes widened.  The blue glow had the form of what seemed to be massive wings which resembled that of a bat.  Flowing calmly in the form of a sphere, with only a small opening which lured me toward him.  Throwing my arms around him only to find rejection.  Turning his face from my gaze, he stepped back in anger.  Retracting his arm in the opposite direction he than plunged it through my chest removing my heart on the other side.  The Glow consumed me, engulfing me in a prison of horror.  I was powerless to contest this, I could only gather the strength to scream in pain.  Only to find my voice muffled, my soul began to whither of hope.  How could this be happening?  Even my subconscious should respect him!  He was the only good I had left.  The only pull to humanity keeping me sane.


            With everything lost, suffocation taking me over.  My pumping within my veins had stopped.  I felt my eyes become large like they were leaving their sockets.  Even though I no longer bare a physical heart, I felt my inner heart shatter.  Consumed with emotion I grew cold inside.


            My eyes opened, I could hear the voice of my mother yelling up the stairs.  The day became focused, and the warmth of the sun felt refreshing.  Climbing out of bed and to my feet, I marched off to the bathroom to clean myself up for the day ahead of me.


“Adrian!  Are you awake?!  It’s getting late!”  Mom called out.


“Yea mom!  I’m up!”  I replied in a daze.


“James called you a few minutes ago!  I told him you’d call him back right away!”


“OH! K! Thanks MA! … What time is it?!”  I screamed back.


“12:30!”


            Damn… These late nights were destroying my day.  I flushed the toilet and ran the shower.  Sparing no time to waste, I rinsed off the filth I had accumulated as fast as I possibly could.  Drying off and dressing as quickly as I could I ran down stairs to find the phone.


*RRrRRrrrrRInG……  RRrRRrrrRinG….. RRrR…*  “Hello?”


“Hi… uh.. James?”


“Yea, it’s me.”


“Hi, um.. Sorry about the other day.” Feeling my throat sink to my stomach I waited for his reply.


“….It’s okay, … Just freaked me out a bit… is all.” His reply was music to my ears.

 
“So.. We’re cool?”

 
“Yea, we’re cool.”  My face lit up, feeling the burden replaced with joy.

 
“So.. Wanna hang out?”  I tried not to sound to eager, but failed miserably.

 
“Yea! Sure.. heh…  What did you have in mind?”  Seemed he felt the same.

 
“Honestly.. it may be asking a lot… But I’m a little confused.. and errr… honestly scared…   I umm kinda wanted to check out the library if that was okay with you?”  I felt uneasy, maybe even a little sick.  Was it too soon to bring this up?  Maybe I was pushing too hard.

 
“Yea… I was thinking the same thing… I uh… I gotta show you something.”  His voice trembled.


“Is everything okay?”

 
“Yea, it’s umm..  I’m so sorry Adrian… I didn’t want to believe you..  Uh, just come get me?”  He seemed so scared I was afraid to go over there.  Confusion and second guessing confused my common sense.


“Yea, I’ll be right there. You ready?”  I didn’t want to be too pushy.

 
“Uh huh.  I’ll be waiting.”  With that he hung up.

 
“Ma! I’m heading out with James!”  I screamed, maybe a bit too loud.

 
“Um, ok… No breakfast?”  Her tone seemed almost offended.

 
“No I’m not that hungry.  I’ll be back in time for dinner though.”

 
“Alright sweetie… is everything alright?”  Her concern was heart breaking.

 
“Yea Ma, I just forgot me and James had plans today.”


“Oh, well okay, have fun hun.”  She smiled.

 
“Thanks, I will.” I smiled back tossing on my shoes, and exiting the back door.

 
            James was waiting outside for me, his face directed at me.  But his eyes avoiding contact.  I became nervous and uneasy, did I really make him that uncomfortable.  I felt horrible for everything that had happened.  Look what I was doing to him, he seemed crushed and defeated.

 
“Hi.”  I said quietly.

 
“Hey…  Adrian look I’m… I’m sorry I ran off like that yesterday.   But, you know…  it was weird and, well I guess I sorta panicked”  James explained, in a shy voice.

 
“James, it’s not your fault.  It’s not like you made this happen.  I probably would have run off too.”

 
“So you’re not mad?”


“Of course not!  I thought you were afraid of me.”

 
“I think I was a little at first.  But… dunno, I just… don’t want to be without you.”

 
“Even if I am a freak?”  Attempting a joke to ease the situation.

 
“Yea,  I guess..  But ummm… That’s not all.  I um…  Remember when you were looking at my chest for something yesterday..  Uh, were you looking for this?”  James lifted his shirt revealing a circular shape surrounded by red raw skin.


“Jesus Christ, does that hurt?”  My concern was obvious, it looked painful and infected.

 
“No… it’s more itchy and tingly than anything….  Adrian…   What’s happening to us?”

 
            I found myself with nothing to say, I was stuck.  I had no idea what all this meant, or if that James was now like me, or if it was just something I gave him…  GOD!  If I gave him this… thing, I don’t think I could live with myself.  Maybe it’s coincidence, maybe his subconscious convinced him that I was right, and this is the reaction…  Maybe he scratched a lot in his sleep.  Please don’t let him have this!  With nothing to say, and my mind racing, I wrapped my arms around James and held him tight.  I didn’t care who saw us, some things are more important.  James seemed to need my warm gesture, his arms instantly wrapped around me holding him tight against his chest as he buried his face into my shoulder.  All I could hear were gentle sobs and whimpers, as cleared his throat as if to speak…

 
“I’m scared.”



Chapter 20